While I was trying to record my ATM’s musical talents, I had to pee really really bad.  I mean really bad.  I was so dedicated to bringing  you that dumb-butt audio file, however, that I did the pee-pee-dance, frantically typed in my PINumber and then ran out of the bank likerdysplirt to find a terlit.  The only problem: my ATM card didn’t run out with me.  

When I finally noticed the missing card a few days later, I also noticed a letter from my bank with the card enclosed:

We have examined your Debit Card and have found it to be in working order.  Your card was retained due to a machine malfunction. 

Thanks for sending my card back, bank.  And thanks for blaming it on a “machine malfunction” when we all know it was an “Evan malfunction.”

(Geez! Who would have thought I’d ever have three posts about my bank?)