I met up with my cousin Josh in Paris and we went to Versailles.  After a long day of wandering the many halls, we took a break in a room lined with marble busts of the heroes of France.

While we were resting, Josh told me that his friend is a sculptor working on a piece for a cathedral in Los Angeles, and wouldn’t you know it, he ended up using Josh as the model for Joseph.  We joked about a Jew modeling for a statue in a church, but Joseph was Jewish, so maybe it’s appropriate.  I can see the resemblance.

We agreed that Joseph seemed like a solid dude.

JOSH: I know the guy who modeled for Judas.

I suppose we should be thankful that we had Dax in Chicago for as long as we did.  He consistently entertained us with free shows, street games, and other surprises.  

To raise money for his move back to San Francisco, Dax did a painting a day for two and a half months and then had a silent auction at his house.  The bids, he said, didn’t have to be money.  They could be anything.  As a result, one piece was sold for 27 high fives and another was sold for “a telephone conversaion with my Russain father.”

I paid cash money for mine — the blue cloud at the top of the photo.

I didn’t love it at first. I guess I expected it to be more… something. It didn’t “echo the city’s renowned skyline” as I was told it would. I didn’t get much of a reaction at all. That it was sitting next to, in my opinion, the greatest piece of public art in the world, didn’t help either.

Luckily Shama showed up. She called to see how my midterm went and when I told her I was going to stop by Millennium Park she hopped on a train to meet me there faster than an Evan spilling soup on himself. She’s been wanting to go ice skating since, like, September. After some skating and falling we went up to take another look.

Shama loved it immediately, and the more she talked the more I started appreciating it. When you look up close you can see where pieces broke off, fell, melted, refroze, and melted again. I think I liked seeing it thrive on that zero degree night. The colder the weather, the stronger and more vibrant it gets — just like Chicago.

A. Joe Beshenkovsky says, “It’s a plant! In a pot! I tried some other things but my artistic skills have withered away like so much old skin.” Joe and I worked together at the TV station at Columbia University. I think it looks quite nice.

B. Gordon Wright is as classy as the top hats he draws. He’s also a heck of a singer. If all goes according to plan, you can see Gordon play at the upcoming CD release show for this bad boy. In the meantime, visit his website.

C. Rachel Hansen and I really bonded taking driving classes together when we were 16. I was a bad driver then and I’m a bad driver now. Also, she drew a fish.

D. Keira Dubowsky may win the “person-I’ve-known-the-longest-who-drew-a-doodle” award as we’ve been friends since we were 12. She sent this worried man through the mail and he got to me just in the nick of time.

E. Shama Dardai has been drawing ninjas as long as she can remember. She drew this one so fast you can actually see the speed lines. But he is a gentle ninja and isn’t actually attacking the little fellow in “F.” Fear not.

F. Mara Levinsky is a jerk for not living in Chicago. But just when I think she’s forgotten where she comes from, she goes ahead and gets a Yorkie and names him “Dempster” after a street in Evanston. Then she draws him along with a Ron of Japan lotus flower.

G. Julie Irons didn’t actually draw this picture. “Today I confiscated a drawing from one of my fifth graders who was doodling when he should have been checking his answers. I told him he had two options: I take it home and throw it away, or I take it home and send it to you. Guess which one he chose?”

H. Joanie Friedman actually wins the person I’m known the longest award. We grew up around the corner from each other. Sorry Keira, I guess I was wrong. She also knows me very well — drawing the Chicago skyline.

I. Rachel Hansen actually drew three doodles and it was so hard to choose one that I had to put this snowman in as well.

J. Jon Stoper drew this fisherman who is apparently fishing for elephants judging by the monster hook on that bad boy.

K. Karen Van Ausdal crafted what is perhaps the most pleasant doodle on this whole CD. Why? Because she is perhaps the most pleasant lady on the whole CD.

L. Jen Eckart not only took the photos for the CD, she drew this picture of me… with an eye patch… wearing a “Proberty” t-shirt. We were members of a barely-existent band and we wanted it to have the worst name ever. Hence, “Proberty.”

M. Shama Dardai also drew several pictures. She, like this elephant, is a saint. Unlike this elephant, her wings aren’t tragically undersized.

N. David Huyck is an actual artist that I know from high school. Not that the others on this list aren’t artists, but he’s a real-life illustrator, and an amazing one at that. Visit his website, “Bunch of Monkeys,” and kill a few hours perusing his work. Good times.

O. Joanie Friedman drew this… box of magicians? And that’s all I have to say about that.

P. Dave Innis is an amazing artist, but I’m not sure he has a great handle on bovine physiology. We’ve all seen cows bowling, but I don’t know if I’ve ever seen one with udders and horns.

So there you go. It is, frankly, my favorite part of this whole CD.

A clue, however, is etched into the front windows.