Evan Jacover (dot com!) » Banks

Chaaarrrrge… It: Director’s Commentary

Evan — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 02:44:30 +0000

While I was trying to record my ATM’s musical talents, I had to pee really really bad. I mean really bad. I was so dedicated to bringing you that dumb-butt audio file, however, that I did the pee-pee-dance, frantically typed in my PINumber and then ran out of the bank likerdysplirt to find a terlit. The only problem: my ATM card didn’t run out with me.

When I finally noticed the missing card a few days later, I also noticed a letter from my bank with the card enclosed:

We have examined your Debit Card and have found it to be in working order. Your card was retained due to a machine malfunction.

Thanks for sending my card back, bank. And thanks for blaming it on a “machine malfunction” when we all know it was an “Evan malfunction.”

(Geez! Who would have thought I’d ever have three posts about my bank?)

Chaaarrrrge… It!

Evan — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 05:03:27 +0000

Once when I was withdrawing money from the only ATM on my college campus, I could swear I heard the machinery inside play a little song as it dispensed its sweet currency. This song:

Well, at least the end of it. As I’ve wondered through life these subsequent years, I often listen for that tiny tune from the bowels of the ATM — with its little trill of excitement announcing the inevitable prize. Occasionally I’ll find an ATM that still does it.

It just so happens that tonight was one such occasion. Thanks to the iPhone Recorder application, I was able to record it.

charge

Am I crazy? It totally plays that song, right? I like to think the engineers designing this ATMachine added the jingle as a tribute to Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble’s shopping sprees whose call to arms culminated in the exclamation, “CHARGE IT!”

Don’t Let The Fame Go To Your Hedge Funds

Evan — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:30:42 +0000

There are film writers who can do a better job reviewing The Dark Knight than I — here’s a good one — but, like everyone else, I sure dug it. As advertised, Heath Ledger steals the show, but I was even more impressed with the performance of our fair city. Chicago wore very little makeup in its portrayal of Gotham, and the city looks gorgeous. I was particularly excited when Batman threw the Joker into a limestone wall that I’m pretty sure was my bank. My bank! A big movie star! I can say I withdrew from it way back when.

I suspect The Dark Knight will join The Blues Brothers and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off as one of the all-time best Chicago movies. High Fidelity did pretty good too. Oh, and Stranger Than Fiction. And don’t even get me started on John Hughes. What are your favorites?

Looking Good, Bank. Feeling Good, Evan.

Evan — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 05:00:41 +0000

I was downtown for some shenanigans when I happened to walk by my bank. I did a double take because I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen my bank before. But there it was. They have a fancy engraved sign and everything. Looks nice. Sturdy. I’m glad it’s my bank. I deposited some checks while I was there.

It was so nice to see my bank that I took a picture of it. It was then that I realized that everything looks pleasant when you use a flash in the snow, whether it’s my bank…

…or the puppet bike…

…or even a marquee for a Michael McDonald concert.