Shama and I took a day to drive through Pisgah National Forest, stopping at Lookingglass Falls and Sliding Rock before getting on the Blue Ridge Parkway.  You know what’s not on the Blue Ridge Parkway?  Gas stations.  You know what else isn’t on the Blue Ridge Parkway?  AT&T service.

So we were a bit freaked when all of a sudden Shama said, “Oh no, the gas light’s on!”  I had remembered seeing a while back that it was 16 miles to the next exit from the Parkway and our car’s handly onboard computer told us that we had 9 miles of cruising range before we ran out of gas.  Ruh-roh.

Shama drove like a pro, coasting down the mountain as much as possible, breaking as little as possible, flying off sheer rock cliffs as little as possible.  As we came into town we may or may not have gone through an interminable red light before making it to a gas station.  The result: 16 miles with 2 miles worth of gas to spare!

Done.

Today, for some reason, I decided to check on the cars to make sure they were okay.  They were not okay.  They were gone.  Panic.  I started calculating the cost if they were towed.  What is it, $100/day?  10 days?  2 cars?  Oy.  Well, maybe they were stolen.  Is that better?

I called 311 (useless), the impound lot (mostly useless) and my alderman’s office (very helpful!) before finally realizing I needed to e-mail my neighbor, tell him the bad news, and get the license plate numbers so I could figure out what actually happened.  My e-mail began, “I hope your trip was going well because I’m going to ruin it…”

A few minutes later I received a response.

I am sooo sorry.  We got home Sun. and I found the cars safe and sound.  I’ve been using them and completely forgot to give you a huge thank you.  I’m sorry to have put you through the last few hours of misery.  I owe you big time.

Phew.  Problem solved.

Oh wait.  Not yet.  First I need to make an awkward call to the alderman’s office and explain the situation to the nice man who was gonna “help me out of my pickle.”

There.  Now problem solved.

I wouldn’t know, however, since I got to sit in the front the whole time. Why?  Turns out I was the only one who knew how to drive stick.  That, combined with a lack of directions, the Irish insistence that people drive on the left side of the street, pint-sized lanes, and my general poor driving skills seemed to be a recipe for disaster.  Oddly, however, I felt a lot more comfortable driving here than in the US.  I think I’m a natural left-side driver, which might explain why I have so much trouble back home.

On the way to the Cliffs of Moher, we passed the Aussie Super Circus and Shama said we had to stop.  The show wouldn’t start for another 5 hours, but any passers-by would have been treated to an unadvertised clown car as we all piled out to look at the wallabies and emus.

So when my windshield wiper broke over the weekend I was kinda put-out.  Another $100?  Really?  

As I tried to drive home in the rain last night I realized that windshield wipers are pretty useful, so this morning I took the car in… again.  I decided to try a new place that’s right near where I work and explained the problem.  

Mechanic: Let’s go take a look.

I showed him the problem.

Mechanic: Do you have tools?
Evan: Tools?
Mechanic: Yeah, a socket wrench or crescent wrench?
Evan: Yeah.
Mechanic: Honestly, we’ll need to charge you $50 to fix this, but there’s a nut holding the windshield wiper on and it’s probably just loose.  Try tightening that before you bring it in.

He then pried off the cover on the nut and showed me where to tighten it.

So I tightened it… and it worked.  I charged myself $50 and I’m gonna get myself some more tools, yo!

After 10 months without a car, I finally caved and re-entered the automotive community.  Here are some things I learned over the last 10 months.

• I read a LOT more when I take the train everywhere.  If I had a car, I probably wouldn’t have made it through all those pirate books.
• I never get sick of walking.
• I’m not really into biking.  Despite my best efforts, I just don’t enjoy it all that much.
• iGo is a great idea, but I barely ever used it.  When I did, it took me 20 minutes to figure out how to turn the stinking Prius on.
• Without a car, I saw less of my friends who live along the blue line (or along no line.)
• Buses aren’t as bad as I thought.  They can get you where you want to go.
• The freedom of having a car is no joke.  I’m totally going to Home Depot today.
• I can’t think of anything I enjoy less than the process of buying a car.

Oh man, I just went on You Tube to see if they had a clip of John Prine singing “Automobile” and found this great clip of him on Soundstage.  It kills me that they fade it out at the end.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCpWk8Q-5sA

After the trip, two minivans were supposed to pick us up and take us down the mountain, but only one came.  We decided all 11 of us (and our backpacks) would just cram into the car.  After all, it was only a half-hour drive.

There were three of us in the passenger seat.  I was positioned in such a way that my head was actually leaning on the windshield.  As we twisted and turned down the mountain road, a voice from the bottom of our passenger-seat pile said, “I don’t like this,” and managed to jimmy-rig the seatbelt around (at least parts) of all of us.

Seconds later we made a particularly sharp cuve and the next thing I knew the car was plowed into a tree.  There we shouts of, “Is everyone okay,” amidst the smoke.  Remarkably, everyone was.  It turns out there was so much weight in the car, one of the rear tires actually fell off of the wheel.

I remember three things from after the accident:

1. As the last person stumbled out of the van, we heard a poof.  The airbag finally went off.
2. As I stood in a daze in front of the car, someone pointed at the windshield and said, “Evan, did your head do that?”  The windshield had shattered right where my head was.  I didn’t have a scratch on me.  I have a strong head.
3. A woman ran out of the only nearby house.  “Everyone crashes into that tree,” she said.  Then she invited us in and served us lemonade.

BASSIST: We just had too much weight in this car.

They thanked me profusely for stopping — “There are still nice people in this world.” — and said they’d be fine getting into town.  That little doughnut spare tire has my sympathy.

I’m a bad driver.  My problem is that I’m easily distracted and prone to the occasional space out.  It’s probably a good thing I don’t have a car right now.

Unfortunately my spacing-outing is not limited to driving.  I’m also a bad train rider.  I was riding what I thought was the Brown Line when the doors closed at Belmont and I heard the following announcement:

ANNOUNCER: This is a Purple Line express to Howard.  Next stop, Howard.

My ensuing spastic dance was both embarrassing and fruitless.  The doors were closed and closed they would stay as the train rumbled 7 miles north to Evanston.

So now I’m carless. At some point I’ll probably get another car (any recommendations? I like small station wagons) but in the meantime I’m just gonna hoof it… and take public transportation… and get rides from people.

It’s been going okay for the most part. There haven’t been too many times I’ve wished I had a car, but today is one of them. I already took a bus and a train to get to work. After work I’ll hop on the Halsted bus down to UIC for our Engineers Without Borders Regional Workshop. After that I need to get to Evanston somehow to meet up with a friend who’s in from out of town. Finally, I need to get back home to Lincoln Square. Yabba Dabba Doo!

Shama: Who does this guy think he is?

Neighbor: How’s it going?
Me: Fine
Neighbor (Noticing that I’m holding a parking ticket): You got a ticket? That sucks.
Me: Yeah
Neighbor (Noticing that I’m also holding jumper cables): And jumper cables?
Me: Well, maybe “fine” wasn’t the best response.

My neighbors were nice enough to give my brother’s car a jump — the car I borrowed just long enough to break and get two parking tickets.