Archive for the 'Dogs' Category

Auto-Awesome Indeed

Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

Google introduced a new feature a little while ago called “Auto-Awesome.” Occasionally, when you upload movies or videos to Google+, they will create a new version that has some animation or music or something else that’s… well… awesome. My phone automatically backs up all of my photos to Google+, but they have never deemed any of my photos worthy of the auto-awesome treatment… until now.

Here is the first photo that Google decided to awesomize:

What’s that you say? Why was I taking a photo of my dog pooping? I don’t see what that has to do with anything.

You know what’s kind of neat, though? Watch any snowflake and you’ll see that it is part of an evenly spaced group of flakes moving in a straight line. The faster flakes are spaced further apart and the slower flakes are close together. The effect feels random, but to loop the .gif efficiently, Google built things in a very structured way.

Boy Dogs Have Nipples

Monday, October 8th, 2012

Gus and I managed one last trip to the beach this summer. Over the last year and a half we’ve really gotten to know a lot about each other. One thing I learned that I never knew before: boy dogs have nipples. Seems obvious now.

How Did I Not Know This Before?

Saturday, May 28th, 2011

Okay, so the dog beach is basically the greatest place on earth.

Best Birthday Present Ever

Thursday, May 5th, 2011


Shama tried to surprise me with a dog for my birthday, but the shelter wouldn’t let her just grab a dog and put it in a box.  I know.  I don’t get it either.  So instead she surprised me by picking me up and taking me to the shelter to meet a dog she had picked out.  His name was “Mugs” and I loved him immediately.

We changed his name briefly to Maurice, but settled on Gus.

Gus and I have some similar features.  Shama says she has a type.  I’m reminded of this scene from 101 Dalmations:

Computers Behaving Badly

Friday, May 29th, 2009

I spend most of my time at work programming a sprawling application that is used by almost everyone at Jellyvision as their main production tool.  We’re constantly adding in new features so it can be a little buggy.  I often hear about it when it acts up.  

Talking to Ryan in the kitchen today, he said, “I know I complain about [software] a lot, but I wanted you to know that it behaved really well today.”

I gave a similar report to Allard after dog sitting his new puppy last week.  


Yay!  Gratuitous picture of a puppy that looks like an Ewok!

Daisy ~ 1992-2008

Tuesday, April 8th, 2008

I first met Daisy in 2002 when she was already 10 years old. Since then I dogsat for her often and wrote about her several times on this site. After 112 dog-years, it was finally time for Daisy to head into retirement. She will be missed.

RIP Daisy

You Wanna Know What Daisy Thinks? Daisy’s Gonna Tell You What Daisy Thinks.

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007

Wouldntchaknow, I’m dogsitting again. I’m taking care of Allard’s dog Daisy, the world’s oldest living Pug. I always get a little nervous taking care of her. It’s hard to shake the fear that she’ll finally head for that great milkbone in the sky on my watch.

Allard: If she dies, just put her in the freezer until we get back.

Daisy has trouble standing up these days. You kind of have to lift her up and hold her there until she gets her balance, but when she stands her tail sure starts wagging! She’s old, but she’s happy.

I took her to work today and she attended our weekly company meeting. All 30 of us were sitting in a circle as Amanda and Harry outlined the current business situation. While Harry was talking about a potential project and whether or not it was a good fit for our company, Daisy waddled to the center of the circle, squatted, and told us what she thought of the project (in turd form.)

Harry: I guess we’re not doing the project.

Since Daisy doesn’t walk so well she has to be carried around in a bag. Look how happy she is in her bag!


Dogs and Puppies

Monday, June 11th, 2007

I’m a habitual dogsitter. Seen here are two of my favorite boarders: Daisy and Latke. Daisy is a million-year-old deaf pug who belongs to Allard, Jellyvision’s art director. When I was dogsitting her earlier this year, my brother had recently gotten a puggle puppy: young Latke, who has barely cracked 6 months. Latke is a total spaz.

I thought it would be fun for them to meet. After all, dogs like other dogs, right?I brought Daisy over to Latke’s house for a playdate. Bad idea. The next hour was one of the most stressful of my life. It went something like this:

1. Latke jumps on Daisy thinking she’s playing.
2. Daisy doesn’t enjoy playing, gets agitated and tries to walk away.
3. Being old and slow, Daisy doesn’t get away and gets tackled by Latke.
4. Daisy establishes herself as the alpha dog and barks Latke into submission (pictured.)
5. Latke and/or Daisy are restrained at opposite ends of the room.
6. Latke eventually wriggles free.
7. Repeat step 1.

It was like watching a one of those little kids who’s really into professional wrestling trying to show his grandma how The Camel Clutch works. At least neither of them pooped under my desk.

You Must Whippet

Saturday, February 24th, 2007

It’s once again time for the International Kennel Club dog show at McCormick Place. I don’t know if I’ll make it over there again this year, but I was there last year. There are a lot of dogs — pretty much everywhere you look. If you don’t want to see dogs everywhere, it probably isn’t the place for you.


If you want to see a guy grabbing his dog’s balls for a good twenty minutes then it definitely is the place for you. We passed by a fella grooming his Old English Sheepdog (one of my favorite breeds ever since the archery scene in Disney’s Robin Hood.) He was super-nice and told us all about the breed while he delicately brushed his dog’s coat with his right hand. And his left hand? I don’t know what he was doing with his left hand, but let’s just say Chester looked a little uncomfortable. After casually wandering through the grooming area we walked past him again… and his hand was still up there! Anyone into showing dogs know what that’s all about?


My other favorite part of the show occurred at the agility competition. You may have seen this on TV. It’s basically a dog obstacle course. It was exciting to see the really fast dogs bolt through the slalom obstacle and leap over the hurdles, but most of the dogs were pretty mediocre. Some clearly had their minds on other things. One little feller decided after a couple half-hearted leaps that it was the perfect time and place to squat out a little kibble surprise.

The International Kennel Club was prepared for this. A woman wearing an official IKC polo shirt appeared carrying a bucket of cleaning supplies. I figured that she was charged with cleaning up after the inevitable accident. That was not the case. Instead she handed the bucket to the dog’s handler and watched as the handler cleaned up Sparky’s deuce. I was shocked (and incredibly amused.) Isn’t it embarrassing enough that your highly-trained dog took a crap in front of a couple hundred people? Couldn’t the IKC at least provide a crapper-picker-upper and leave the handler with a little bit of dignity? Apparently not.

By the way: Wow! Two dog poop stories in a row!

Happy Poop Day

Thursday, February 22nd, 2007

I have a terrible sense of smell. If there’s ever a gas leak, I better hope someone else is around. I also have bad tastes in smells. I don’t like the smell of coffee. I recently admitted to kind of liking the smell of horse manure. Kind of. Shut up.

Thanks to temperatures way up in the 40s, the sun is shining, everyone’s smiling, and the snow is finally melting… revealing countless piles of dog poop.

My neighborhood reeks.

Happy Poop Day!