I had about 3 hours to kill before a 1 AM show at the Horseshoe so Shama and I walked over to the CVS and saw they were selling vegetable plants. Nothing says organic goodness like buying plants in the parking lot of a CVS. But after my bumper crop of asparagus was such a success, it seemed like an expansion of the vegetable garden was in order.

Here’s something I didn’t know: when you buy plants, you don’t just get tomatoes or peppers. They all have names! I picked out a fine looking fellow named “Bradley” as well as another tomato known only as “Beefmaster.” He seems like trouble. I also got something called a “Bush Pickle,” which I hope is a cucumber.

Longtime readers of this site (Hi, Mom) will recall my asparagus adventures from last summer. You see, I planted asparagus two years ago with high hopes for a bumper crop. After waiting impatiently an entire summer, all I had to show for my 5 minutes of hard work was a pile of dirt. I figured the asparagus, like everything else I’ve ever planted, died a lonely, humiliating death. But then last summer, a lone asparagus shoot surprisingly appeared in May. Even more surprisingly, it then flowered into plant weirdness before I got my act together to eat it.

Well, guess who’s back! This time, however, I didn’t give it a chance to bloom. I cut out that single asparaguh, grilled it up and ate it. It was the best asparagus I’ve ever had. For reals.

Remember that asparagus that started growing in my back yard a year after I planted it? Well now it looks like this:

What am I supposed to do with that thing?

Last spring a friend of mine realized he had ordered too many asparagus seeds or roots or pods or whatever asparagus thingers are called.

I took the extras, threw them in a hole and waited all summer for a slender green stinker to pull itself through the dirt. Nothing. Granted, I didn’t water or fertilize or, um, hoe? I did nothing, and I figured my lack of effort earned me an appropriate lack of asparagus.

But this weekend I was in my backyard and looky what I saw:

Take that, earth!